10 Signs Your Relationship Won’t Last Long
Shirley Johson said, “If you want to know how a story ends, look at how it begins,” She is a psychotherapist, who deals with things like co-dependency one feels in a relationship. Love is blind, am sure you’ve heard this, which is true because people often don’t see things, which they should and ignore all the red flags because of the magic people feel when they start to mean something to one another. It sounds so ideal and spectacular. It’s not you, everyone feels as if they are on the 9th cloud in “Honeymoon phase”, but once the chase is over, and you’ve got that person, then the real relationship begins. This blog will tell you about, 10 Signs Your Relationship Won’t Last Long.
If you’re thinking, that you are exaggerating things and everyone feels these things when they get into a relationship. No, you are not. You’re just acting on things before they get worse.
You try not to hurt your beloved’s emotions as well as your own emotions. Though relationship does get better and deeper with time, and a hurdler must not bother you that much, but when there is a mountain of hurdles in front of you, then it would be a move of a fool, to ignore it.
So these are 10 Early Signs a Relationship Might Not Last:
They take you for granted.
Are you the one, who has always been there for your partner?
You’re that emotional support they always needed, but when it comes to you, they think you are capable enough to make things work on your own. Remember, when they were trying to impress you, they were making you believe that you hold a superior place in their life. And once, you are in a relationship, that phase ends, and they start taking you for granted, because they’ve assumed that you’re always going to be there, no matter what.
This isn’t what you deserve. “If they don’t appreciate your presence, perhaps you should try giving them your absence”, Tinku Razoria, a relationship expert said.
They don’t accept your flaws, while you have accepted their’s:
If you want a long term relationship, then you want to be your true self to your partner, of how genuinely you are in reality. You don’t want to wear that mask, which people have to, to get accepted by certain no.people of society. There’s always a chance of self-development. But if they don’t like, the way you talk, you laugh, the way you cry while watching emotional scenes, and they are trying to change you. you are out of it.
Johnson says. “When we leave out any authentic part of our self — whether it be an angry part, depressed part, or passionate part — then we are setting up the relationship to stay on the surface, which will not support long-term potential.”
Is your Relationship one-sided?
A Relationship must always be 50-50, in everything. You give them your time, put some sweet gestures and in return, they do the same. They show love, of how it means to them. But if you are the only one, who are working every way possible to make things work, then your relationship is one-sided.
You’re the one, who is investing your love, time on someone who is hardly giving you a few minutes from their day.
Erika Boissiere, another relationship expert says, “While almost everyone can easily say that they are busy when you find that someone isn’t being responsive early on in the relationship, it might be a sign that they don’t prioritize you”.
Remember, someones might be there, who is trying to find that person to put all their efforts for. So don’t just don’t end up wasting time on the wrong person, who don’t deserve it.
They are regularly mean to other people.
Do they shout, on the waiter, when you went out for dinner or some random people they rush into when you were having a walk?
Most of the relationship advisors say, that in the starting of a relationship, everyone tries to be their best self. They would agree on the things they don’t like, just to get approval from you. They’ll try to give their best to impress you, and one must look at how they treat people whom they have been with for a long time. Especially, people who are lower than you. Do they show tantrums or treat them generously, like they should be?
Because it is said that once they are comfortable with you, they will treat you like that way only. Like they own you. Like a thing, a material they have bought.
You don’t like their friends/company.
Friends are the chosen family.
It is said and agreed by many. And if friends are the people we like, and are comfortable with. Then, there’s a possibility that we are like them only.
People often break up because they don’t like their partner’s company, as it tells a lot about that person in genuine. Not going along with your partner’s friends could be a huge turn-off, and is a major red flag, which shouldn’t be ignored.
As we choose friends based on many common interests and qualities. Your partner, whom you consider as your love of life might have those qualities which you don’t like. And if you find that earlier, then you must take some action regarding it.
Not including you in plans.
Everyone has got some solo plans. Things you want to on your own. For example, going on a solo trip. You must have some too.
But if your partner doesn’t include you in an event, an event in the next 30 days, then they are definitely not thinking of a long term relationship. Because you know, if you love someone, and want them to stick around. Including them in your plans would be a nice gesture.
Most of the relationship works this way.
Being emotionally available for your partner is one of the vital things, including being honest, understanding, and open for communication. And it’s okay if your partner randomly bumps into their Ex, sometimes.
But if they just got out of a big relationship, and still crying for their Ex. It’s a big red flag my dear. Recognize the fact, that your role in a relationship isn’t solely to be a shoulder to cry upon. You deserve love like everyone, from their partner. And no matter how emotionally available you are to them, they will leave you. They are just using you as a rebound, till the time they get their Ex back. Don’t let them do it. At the end of the day, it’s you, and your heart, which is going to be shattered.
A healthy long term relationship demands equality. A relationship, where you are free to share your thoughts and is respected for it. Both of your feelings must be respected and given equal respect.
Relationship advisors say that at first, it feels good when you always have to go to restaurants of their choice. And travel to the place they want to. They just book the tickets, without even taking a slight consent from you. It feels good, that you don’t have to do things in your relationship. But sooner or later, you realize, how they are controlling you. You don’t have your own personal time. One cannot hang out with your friends. You have to do everything according to them. So, take a note of it, before it’s too late.
Are they only trying to get physical?
Are they taking it too fast? Do you think, it’s important to first know each other properly or of all their habits, before getting physical?
If your relationship is particularly based on getting physical, then it is not going to last long. At first, there will always be a passion to know your partner, to spend every minute with them, in bed. This feeling can be mutual or one-sided. If it’s one-sided, then there is always a chance to say “NO”, and you must!
But if it’s mutual, and you both are just trying to get under each other’s pants. Then, it’s just lust, and you’ll get over it too.
If you have common interests and empathic communication, that is the glue that can hold a relationship together even after the passion wanes.
They run hot and cold:
You partner will shout at you at the silliest and the most random thing.
You will get shattered, and will still curse yourself. The moment you will try to reach out to other people, at least to help. They will shower their love to you. This is what we call running Hot and Cold.
Showering excessive love to get people back and making them forget, of all the worse things they’ve done to you. By this way, they will distant you from your friends, or people you can reach out for help. Physical abusers tend to do this a lot. I hope you are not dealing with it, and will never in future.
Remember you are meant to be loved. You are not someone’s Toy, and you shouldn’t be treated like one. Prioritize yourself. It shouldn’t be the way like they can come back whenever they want to.
At last, it’s you, who have to take a stand for yourself !!
Some people will leave you soon, no matter what. They’ll blame you for things you haven’t done, for self-satisfaction. But it’s not the end of your story. It’s just the ending of their role in your story. Because life goes on.
Not everything we lose is a loss sometimes.
Look at the brighter side. You are relieved free from the pain of holding on to the ones who aren’t meant to be in your life.
This blog looked at 10 Signs Your Relationship Won’t Last Long.
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